"Chad Ochocinco was trying to have a normal Saturday night. He went out to a party with his reality star wife and Darrelle Revis, dressed in a custom suit and Louboutins just in case he had to go straight to a 7 a.m. church service and then -- bam! -- he gets peed on by a lion.
The New England Patriots receiver was at a charity event in Miami on Saturday night when he ran into the caged animal. According to Ochocinco's Twitter account, the king of the jungle proceeded to become the urine sprayer at the party.
The initial tweet:
"Swear to lil 10 pound bearded baby Jesus* I just got peed on by a real "Lion" I'm not lying either. And y'all wonder why I don't go out!!!!!"
* No, that's not an actual saying. I checked.
Responding to skepticism about his claim:
"No i'm serious, ask @evelynlozda or @revis24 RT @TylerCosta2 @ochocicno tweet a pic of the lion AND the pee..then we will believe you"
"I put that on my LIFE it just happen, i'm not lying."
After some Twitter followers made fun of him:
"It's not funny i have on my good church clothes"
Scientific explanation of the urinary habits of Panthera leo
"I wasn't that close, he sprayed like a water gun"
"I never go out at night n the night I do I get peed on by a real 'Lion' I feel honored, who can say they got peed on by a 'Lion'"
And before you ask, no. The Patriots don't play the Detroit Lions next season, thus depriving us the chance of seeing one of the greatest Calvin Johnson celebrations of all time"